It was a Monday, the Monday of Fall Break, 2024. I work in a public school and was excited to have the week off. Why not start it with a bright and early breast biopsy, huh? That’s what I thought sounded fun, so I… No, that’s not right- of course I didn’t think it sounded fun. But I *did* need it to get done for several reasons. Number one is that my bff since we were 12 y/o (for those keeping track, that’s 34 years ago) and I have had strangely synchronous tragic life events. Our parents both got divorced when we were freshman in college. We had marriages that came apart in the early 2020s, both seemingly out of the blue in many ways.
So when she told me she had been diagnosed with breast cancer, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, I was like, Fuck. I need to get a mammogram. I hadn’t had one in several years, and not at all since I’d had a breast reduction. I scheduled it and was told I needed another one. No big deal, I’ve never had just one mammogram, I always always have had to have multiples- my breasts are dense, lucky me. This time, I went back to where my initial mammogram was, and they had me sign something because my insurance wasn’t taken for this particular thing. Only the first mammogram was covered. I was scared but I paid for it out of pocket. Then it was recommended that I get an ultrasound mammogram. Ugh. I asked how much it would be there and was shocked. I left the place crying and called insurance to figure out where else I could go. They gave me a list of places to call. I called a bunch of them and either didn’t get called back, or they told me they weren’t taking new patients. I was frustrated and overwhelmed and was in grad school and working and was tired and lost steam after being turned away so many times.
Finally, I decided to suck it up and pay out of pocket for the ultrasound mammo. They told me they were concerned about a spot and that I should get a biopsy. I was afraid to ask but did- how much if I get it done here? Oh, something like 5 or 6k. I think I literally yelped. Can’t do that here, then, noooope. I left and was pretty freaked out. I talked to insurance again and got a list which had a place to get a biopsy that was several thousand less but still in the thousands of dollars. I had a bad feeling so I scheduled it. This is how I found myself up early on the Monday of fall break 2024.
It wasn’t so bad, really. Everyone was kind, we joked around (There was music playing and the nurse asked if it was ok and I said that I usually preferred death metal. She laughed but then asked quietly… “do you really listen to death metal?” I was like, no, ha ha ha! But then later when the doctor came in, she introduced herself and then stopped, cocked her head, and was like “wait… this isn’t death metal!”) I felt comfortable there, all things considered. I watched the ultrasound screen and saw the needle going into the mass in my breast, it was crazy. I couldn’t feel anything most of the time, and more than anything I was curious. This isn’t something I’ve ever been able to see before. It was fascinating in a way that took my mind off of the reality of the situation. When it was over, they told me it would be really sore, it would become very bruised possibly for weeks, and to keep ice on it. I completely forgot about the ice, had very little pain, and no bruising at all- which is very unusual for me.
Now, I wait to hear back. It’s fall break though, so in the meantime I’m going to go to karaoke, make out with some guy at a bar (dumbass- me, I mean) go to the dentist, and then to Minnesota to spend time with my bff and a bunch of other cool women for a long weekend.